2 October 2015

Birthday post

My sweet mother reminded me that I write a birthday post, and so I did. Only I wasn't quite ready to share it then. Here it is for posterity.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Cicadas are making a ruckus: loud conversations between friends and lovers, possibly between enemies. I am sitting on the patio of a Greek monastery on the island of Crete while I write this. Another birthday away from family.

Mid-life. Crisis.

And then I think about the word, crisis. What would be a crisis? No family, no friends, no original thoughts, no iPad? All of them or any one of them?  I have rather pathetic predictable life, so no crisis I conclude. But in that predictability is much that is possible and serendipitous. So here's waiting around for lady luck but in the mean time...

the epiphany this time is: I think I am waiting around to becoming someone, and perhaps, it's time to end this foolish ride. Aren't I someone already? Ah, wait that's because I think the someone I want to be is not the someone I am right now. But wait, who was this someone again? Wasn't it a self-imposed definition? So it can be changed. It is in my control. I think of a study that I read that in today's generation the proportion of teenagers who want to be famous is about two-thirds of those polled. I wonder what it was in my generation and is it really a life-time goal to be famous, to be someone? I have to remind myself that it comes with some complicated responsibility. That power corrupts. That there's a price that you pay if your desires constantly outpace your circumstances. And then you die. So is it all really worth it?

No comments:

Post a Comment