25 May 2009

"No man is an island"

A ramble.

This oft repeated phrase came to mind this week as we were given news of our extension to stay in London for a couple of weeks more. My parents also used this phrase frequently when they wanted to convey (to me) the importance of getting married which is rather ironic because my career and life are slowly moving towards community-centric activities. But, I digress.

We are a small team out here to learn how the parent corp works and a motley crew we are of moms, wives, husbands and dog-lovers. Perhaps the hardest thing for the team has been to give up their social life. Its been a difficult journey and today for some reason I finally felt their pain and loneliness. Being away from your stable life is hard enough but to not know when you'll return to that stability or how you will manage the vagaries of next few weeks while still being away is hard.

It is my observation, not original by any stretch, that as Humans we feed off the energy of the people and environment around us. So when we are are surrounded by people or climate that are cheerful we reflect that emotion in our hearts. When the world we inhabit, or in our workplace is filled with longing, depression and frustrations, we imbibe those emotions and carry it on ourselves. The default setting seems to be to mirror the world around us in emotional footprints. But if you have the self power and will; as the Vedantic philosophy suggests, you detach yourself from the world and do not allow the world to distract your inner Self so you can ride in an ocean of calmness while a violent storm rages outside.

For me this is a contradiction. I feel an energy and connection to all people and animals. I live off that energy especially on those relationships that give me positive 'love' energy and cannot imagine not feeling that connection. Detaching from that energy just doesn't make sense; I don't even know how I would go about doing it. This energy I feed off isn't a one way road either. There is give and take. I share in some one's joy and like a nuclear reaction that happiness is broken into smaller particles that moves along the human chain that I encounter for the next few days. I feel some one's sadness and my "happiness" battery begins to discharge as I hope that by feeling their sadness I can help them fill up with a bit of my saved happiness.

Megha's theory of living? I don't think so. It's a WIP: Work in Progress! Its just that in recent times I have become more cognizant of my mirror work and can now sense when I am truly sad vs just reflecting some one's else discomfort. I feel much more intensely but sometimes I can take charge of the emotions. But as blogpost "Evils of living in my head" indicates I am quite far off in controlling those emotions that bubble and froth inside me. That's when the whole feeding off really helps. I need to touch base with a person or thing that gladdens my heart: sitting by a beautiful river with an arching weeping willow, a run or meeting a friend who doesn't need words to convey empathy.

Life is strange. What I would thought would be a circumstances that would propel me towards being a closed person has made me a lot more open and honest. I hope I don't forget these lessons!

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