11 January 2009

Doing as Astro does VI

Lesson # 6 Have a fixed tantrum process

So once in a while our hero Astro, gets very sensitive and decides that the only way to get some attention is to throw a hissy fit. I have previously spoken about his saintly qualities but these are the few things he does, that make him a mere mortal. A harsh word; an harangue on why he has been sleeping on our bed; a yelling on having torn bushes in my mother's garden like a pair of schizophrenic shears; all these can be precursors to a tantrum.

First his ears droop, like the stream of accusations is literally melting them and wilting away his life force. The head falls and he stands with a countenance that suggests to Mother Earth, "Why don't you swallow me now?" After the heated words (a one sided screaming session is quite exhausting actually) he gives a sad, pained look and then saunters up the stairs. Sometimes, to be more dramatic he saunters up step by step as each sentence is repeated: "Who slept on the bed?". Climb 3 steps. Sit. "Which bad doggie slept on the bed?. Climb 3 more and sit. "Are you allowed to sleep on the bed?" Climb 3 more, reach the landing and lie down. Then he looks down upon us from his stately position, willing us to consider amnesia on said events or simply deal with it. Once on the landing though he has a strict negotiation protocol: only a biscuit or bread or maybe both, accompanied by the right combination of sweet nothings can induce him to return to the bode of us homely folks. If we decide to ignore his tantrum then he sits there till he is molly coddled. The system runs like a well oiled machine so much that whenever he's sitting on the stairs its a sure sign that some tiff, with him being the injured party has taken place.

So what does this mean for us? Well, maybe taking this process literally might not work given that stairs in most office environments are located behind closed 'Exit' signed doors and you are likely to be assumed to be doing a snort of cocaine rather than sulking if you resorted to this method in the dingy, cold and dark environs of the staircase. No, what this emphasizes is that firstly, it's OK to be pissed. I'm currently in that state about a project that's simmering and now come to a boil so I can certainly relate to the state. But once pissed you have to weigh in the options. Without truly letting the other party know how you are feeling you can't expect remonstrations so the second point is, once pissed, register your anguish. The beauty of Astro's manner is that it is politically correct. None of the sarcastic, satirical rejoinders; just complete silence and distancing. If you can throw in the body language of a grievously injured party that's a bonus. Third, decide on your price for reconciliation and stick to it. Based on his perception of injury Astro feels the price is fixed for X amount of pleading, Y amount of biscuits and Z amount of bread slices. But once he receives this quota he's back to being a goody goody dog. Fourth, let the other party approach you and, have the patience and trust to know that the people with whom you have an altercation, like you enough to come back to the table for a chat. This is the hardest for me because honestly I dislike myself quite often so what's stopping others from doing the same thing? Anyway, back to Astro.

Over the years Astro has fine tuned the tantrum so that all parties involved know that a resolution is imminent and once a settlement is reached, all will be well again. No grudges, know what I mean? Unclaimed baggage is the heaviest thing we carry around besides guilt, of course. So it's important to off load your emotions on the issue after it is resolved instead of hoping that if this has gone right, then why can't other things my life go all right as well. No sense in getting greedy yeah?

Here's His royal highness in tantrum mode.

If this is the first time you have stopped by for some life lessons from Astro please do also check out the following. Just click on the 'Astro' tag to access these pearls.

Lesson # 1 Have a routine
Lesson # 2 Practice togetherness
Lesson # 3 Don't be afraid to ask for love
Lesson # 4 Bear misfortune with fortitude.
Lesson # 5 Get some sun


  1. 1. Whoa. That's a lot of text load on the eye.

    2. Looks like Astro is looking for a ruffle of hair on his head/cuddling under his chin.

    3. Wonderful insights. Title should have read 'M's gyan.

    4. Oh, btw, lag yourself out of the jet. I too need to...

  2. 5. His recent look reminds me of a bloodhound named Pluto.

  3. Reached safely woman? Give a call.

    btw, Astro is looking stunning!