I'm livid. It's amazing how one email from the person who set off the chain of events that led me to quit my job and move countries can make me feel. And the matter is trivial - a $30 utility bill for the home we both shared. I want to share something called perspective with this person.
In a matter of two weeks I shut down bank accounts, said goodbye to friends I might never meet, packed up seven years of life that I accumulated in books, kitchen stuff and memories, boxed things I wanted and sent them away, wrapped my work at lab, sold my car, had an auction for the things I couldn't take with me, sent away my carefully nurtured plants and filed for divorce. There's a lot of I in this para but to be very fair I had a wonderful circle of friends who kept me swimming against the tide of depression and disgust I felt. Depression about ending this relationship and disgust that I allowed myself to fall in love with a deeply selfish and cunning individual who showed me the exit sign the moment the giving (by me) in our relationship ended and the taking began.
Let me ask you - after all this Mahabharat was it fair to send me a bill for utilities for an amount that I'm sure I have spent in gifts on him, or on produce with which I cooked for us? What's his perspective when he expects me to settle a utility bill from India for a home that we both shared, for a city and country that I left two months ago?
My mind is racing through a stream of gaalis which will never reach the ears they are intended for. I'm just praying that Karma really works. It sure is giving me a bloody hard time!